Help me believe in anything
I want to be someone who believes - Mr Jones - Counting Crows
I am a planner... I'm constantly looking ahead, planning the direction of my life... focusing on the future but enjoying each day... maybe that's why I love gardening. I can plan and watch my plans take shape... each seed I sow... each bulb I plant... adds to the garden that I envision in my future. It's a slow process as I can't afford to put the money needed to make my garden the oasis I want... but in the past 4 years I've been slowly adding another plant... another tree... getting joy out of the evolving beauty of the seasons... Each new flower makes me stop, stare, smell (if aromatic), grin, and inevitably take pictures... I want to remember each bit of beauty produced there. I'm proud of the way it's shaping... the sweat equity absolutely paying back in droves....
I recognize things will hamper my well laid gardening plans... like bunnies... storms... or dead growth that needs to be removed to let the plants shine... sometimes its painful to prune.... but I know with pruning and lots of careful tlc the budding plant will become something stunning to be proud of...
As I write about my garden, it's come to me this is also true in human living... part of our growth process is removing dead growth... getting through hurts and rejoicing in accomplishments. When our mistakes (vermin) are laid at our feet it can be painful... but if you learn and grow from these, they are valuable lessons that can be plowed into our past...
It might take time to remove all the dead growth from our seemingly long winter... but I have all the time in the world... and plans in my heart for a perfectly imperfect life with you in it... so I will take your hand, help you remove our dead wood with apologies and fertilize your heart with all the love you know I have for you...
I should have just said I understand, and I am sorry... take the time you need to digest it. I'm not going anywhere... the peace that comes from being with you has always been better than existing without you...
Iluanf
With a little love, and some tenderness
We'll walk upon the water
We'll rise above the mess
With a little peace, and some harmony
We'll take the world together
We'll take 'em by the hand
'Cause I've got a hand for you
'Cause I wanna run with you
Yesterday, I saw you standing there
Your head was down, your eyes were red
No comb had touched your hair
I said get up, and let me see you smile
We'll take a walk together
Walk the road awhile, 'cause
'Cause I've got a hand for you
I've got a hand for you
'Cause I wanna run with you
Won't you let me run with you? yeah
Hold my hand
Want you to hold my hand
Hold my hand
I'll take you to a place where you can be
Hold my hand
Anything you wanna be because
I wanna love you the best that, the best that I can
Hold My Hand - Hootie and the Blowfish
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