Today the sky was blue and all was well, then in one imperfect blink of an eye, a drop dripped and hit me... I winced. Since then, I have found myself rubbing my heart and trying to ease the burn with positive thoughts.
The gold that soothes two souls wounds one. While you can argue that it shouldn't, that it means nothing to you... it means everything to everyone else who looks at it. It no longer belongs in or around MY world. It appears when I'm not expecting it, and slaps me in my face, effectively reminding me of my place and that not all of my reality is 'real', but smoke and mirrors...
It reminds my friends of my position and leads to uncomfortable questions that I can not answer. I am superwoman and this small bit IS my Kryptonite. I make valiant efforts to battle it's effects on me, but the point is, I AM affected.
I know working today will ease my pain... losing self in my job has always been my salvation. At this moment though, I long to run home to my garden and the sun that shines in it. Where I can hide and breathe fresh air... This part of my life holds no illusions - no surprises that can hurt. I know who I am and what my position is there. I know I belong.
Am I being unfair? I think not. I do know what I have here too. I just anxiously await the day when there will no longer be a pocket full of gold Kryptonite to affect me. I pray for patience and strength to get to that day, because days like today are getting increasingly harder to affect nonchalance.
I am very happy... my Kryptonite and all that it stands for is the only thing that bars my way to total nirvana. Knowing how I feel about need my world to be a happy place... knowing how negative juju affects my soul... please keep your Kryptonite hidden from me. Have a care for MY feelings as you are having a care for others... It works both ways my love.
Vent over... since I can't run to my garden from PA, I'll settle with pictures from yesterday.
Peace Out.
No comments:
Post a Comment