Aim For Another Year

"I've been high, I've been low, I've been yes, and I've been oh hell no.  I've been rock 'n roll and disco, won't you save me San Francisco"- Train

Earlier this summer I asked my daughter what she wanted for her 11th birthday.  "I want a classic Ipod and I want to go to California to get spoiled by Gramma."

"Ok, I can do that!"  I called my mother and started making plans to spend a week in July in Half Moon Bay.

Each year we get out to California a couple times, thanks to my flight benefits.  Each of us have requirements/expectations for our trip to be considered a success...

For CJ, it's Timmy's (hard salami, sharp cheddar and crackers), new Lego's, and chess with his grandfather.

For Katie it's her back to school shopping trip and See's.

For me, it's family, friends, and my stepfather's killer Cosmo's and deviled eggs...  yumm!

The summer trip always includes a drive south to Pescadero for the U-Pick strawberry fields and time at "Sand Blast Beach"... if there's enough time, we extend the drive to Davenport and have a large scoop of ice cream made in Santa Cruz.  Mmmmm..  Monday we managed to do all three...

The strawberry fields this summer were dry and dismal.  We're used to large luscious drip down your chin strawberries.  We found enough 'adequate' strawberries but it wasn't our normal crop of pure bliss.

CJ, the strawberry monster, only tasted a couple, where normally I have to follow him to ensure he actually gets some strawberries in his box that we can pay for.  That said, we manage to pick enough to nibble on our pickings for the whole week, so I guess you can say it was a success.

Where the strawberry fields failed us in dry and brittleness, the beach was a completely different experience this year.  Normally we joke about getting a free face peel from the sand blasting our faces, this year it was completely calm, and almost... WARM.

Mom and I wandered around looking for the perfect shells and rocks, while appreciating the beauty you can find only on beaches.  The sand dunes, the pelicans, and the sounds of the surf crashing... all bring peace to my soul.

This year, my soul found added peace as the next day, my boo flew in for two days... that afternoon, while mom and the kids walked Half Moon Bay beach, he and I ran 7-8 miles from Half Moon Bay to Princeton and back.  It was the PERFECT day for a long run.  Sunny but not to hot.  Running along side the coast next to my boo... life doesn't get much better than that.

Wednesday we dropped the kids off at their other grandparents in San Francisco, and took my sweetheart on a ride along Highway 1, stopping and showing him bits of my past along the way... My first apartment, the hospital I worked in as a child, both of my grandparents homes where I spent a large portion of my summers growing up... and over Mt Tam to Stinson beach, to visit my uncle for an hour.  A perfect day for a drive,  While seeing glimpses of my life, he also got to see the places in our favorite songs by Train.


Thursday morning my honey had to go back to life as we know it, so we dropped him off at the airport and grabbed the kids to start the day Katie had been anticipating all summer... While CJ and my stepfather went to the movies, mom, Katie and I drove down to Stanford to shop til Katie dropped.  She's out grown the Justice styles, so we had to find her young adult taste... She's officially Gap with a bit of Abercrombie and Fitch... By the days end she had armfuls of bags and couldn't move another step... SUCCESS!

Another small request Katie had for her birthday was cupcakes for breakfast.  On the morning of her birthday, mom and I whipped up a small batch and made both of the kids happy.

The day was packed full of family and friends as it was our last day in California.  My aunt, who is more like my sister, and her daughter came over and joined us for a drive down to Capitola.  We ate and drank til we were stuffed, sitting outside watching birds and boats go by.  The weather was to die for, and we all just sat there in a happy daze.

We shopped the quaint storefronts and went to the beach to touch our toes in the surf and take pictures... As we were gathering to take pictures a seal popped his head up 15 feet in front of us...  as if to say "Hi"...  Totally cool surprise for the kids!

Family means everything to me.  It's one of those things I hope to instill in my children.  The importance of family, and having those few close friends that are extended family.  These are the people that will help you through everything.  Help you listen to your soul when you forget the way.  The people that will always have your back, and love you no matter what.  The circle of family and friends around me is not a large one.  It is full of those who mean the world to me, without whom, I'd be desolate.

Our final evening in California was spent with this inner circle... my kids and parents... Carol and her family, Debbie and Mike, and Gina.  Dinner, drinks, and loads of laughter... it's good for the soul.

Katie had the birthday she wanted, and we all had the trip to California that we needed.  Recharged with love we headed back to Atlanta on Saturday.

"You save my life with every word you say
You shine your light for me to find the way
Just hold me tight and cross your heart to stay
Here with me born to be, Every part of you in Half Moon Bay..." - Train

Back home the kids and I spent most of Sunday sleeping, then headed to my father and Corrie's for dinner for one last birthday celebration.  My dad's kick ass ribs, and more presents for a spoiled 11 year old girl... and finally she's done with her celebrations... Both kids are doing everything they can this week to be lazy for their last full week of summer...  Sleeping in til noon, watching the Olympics and movies til late in the night.  Summertime and the living is indeed easy when you're a kid...

I ran every day except one while I was in California, putting in 4-8 miles along the coast or downtown Half Moon Bay.  I've run each day I've been home since.  While I was running along the country roads near my now home, I was thinking about the trip... and reflecting back along Katie's life.  I found the growth that would later hold cancer while I was pregnant with her 12 years ago.  After she was born 11 years ago, the doctors performed another 5 needle biopsy on this growth and continued to ensure me that it was not cancerous.  Katie was 1 when we moved to Georgia... and this month marks the 10 year anniversary that a close friend was diagnosed with stomach cancer, leading me to start the process of finding a doctor in Atlanta to look at my growth yet again.

In a few short months it will be MY 10 year anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer.  I had two operations and 3 years of radioactive treatments... and I have since remained cancer free.  I have had the gift of 10 more birthdays... 10 of my own and 10 more years of watching my children have birthdays... being able to do the things they want, and spoiling them with love and affection... instilling in them my beliefs, helping them evolve into the sweet, funny, smart and warm young adults they are...  Because of changes in cancer treatments... research... and human evolution I'm living a full and happy life.

Thinking about this while I was running last night... made me run more than the 'lazy' three miles I had planned on running.  I pushed on and did 5 miles... DETERMINED to train... DETERMINED to fund raise all the dollars I can for American Cancer Society...  DETERMINED to remember those lost and help fight for those who battle today and will fight it in the future.  DETERMINED to appreciate this gift called life and never take it for granted...  .

JOIN MY FIGHT - Click HERE to donate!

 L'Chaim!  To Life!

Aiming For Birthdays

"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it". -Lou Holtz

Fitness is a way of life.  It's not just a run today, go to the gym next month for a day, and maybe eat a protein bar instead of a twix tomorrow.  It's a lifestyle that you either embrace or don't.  We ALL have the ability to be fit.  I used to argue this with my ex husband.  He always said he didn't have time to work out because of his job.  I told him you have to FIT the work out in your schedule or you will always have excuses and you will never exercise.

Since I started flying for a living, I have carried my running gear and run on days where I had enough time.  I've loved running through cities and exploring as I run.  It's been a 'fun' thing to do, that also burns off stress.  I now have motivation to do more.  Because I am training for DetermiNation's 1/2 marathon with the American Cancer Society, I am forcing myself to get up at 7am and run.  Even if it means I have to run on the dreaded treadmill (boring).  I've found that this has had a curious affect on me... Instead of having LESS energy when I step on a plane, I have MORE energy.  I'm awake and ready to GO!

I'm looking at my trips and planning out which of the four days I'm gone I'm going to run.  I'm packing GU and protein bars, and healthy food, and ignoring the horrid airport grub.  I've lost 5 pounds in the past two weeks... my pants are getting loser already...  The long winter hibernation is falling off of me...


Now that I'm back into my fit lifestyle routine, the junk food just isn't appealing to me.  My attitude has changed.  I don't need it or want it.  It's amazing how you can set your mind to something and it just 'clicks'...  Your lifestyle choice when it comes to fitness, eating, drinking, smoking... IS all in your head.  My sweetheart was commenting on that the other day, how I just needed to find a reason... and the reason should have been for me, or for him... but he'll take the cancer fundraising as my impetus...  I laughed and said "Yeah, and the reason for you to quit your nicotine addiction should be for me or for you, but I'll take any reason."

"Touche!"

I've raised $805 of my $3,000 goal so far.  This money will fund:

Helping you stay well with tips, tools, and online resources to help people set goals and stay motivated to eat healthy and maintain an active lifestyle to reduce their risk of cancer, and by helping you take steps to prevent cancer or detect it early, when it’s most treatable. 

Helping you get well by being in your corner around the clock and providing information to help make decisions or free services like transportation to and from treatment and a place to stay when undergoing treatment away from home. 

Finding cures by funding and conducting research into cancer’s causes, cures, and treatments; we’re the largest non-governmental funder of cancer research in the United States, having spent more than $3.4 billion on cancer research since 1946. 

Fighting back by working with lawmakers everywhere to make this world a healthier place to live and rallying communities around the globe to join our fight.

Let me talk research...  My mother is a breast cancer survivor.  While she was going through chemo she was an FDA lab rat for Emend, an anti nausea drug.  She was never sick while fighting her chemo because of this wonderful drug.  A few years later it WAS approved.  Now it's out there for everyone... I thank GOD mom was able to be part of this research, for her own sake and for others.  We are fighting for a cure, AND for better treatments...  we are fighting for dignity and assistance for the survivors and their care givers.  I am so damn proud to be part of this.  I've known too many people, myself included, who have been affected by this disease.  A cure is out there.  It WILL be found.

Until there is a cure, I will fight the fight.  Help me help others have another birthday.

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/DetermiNation/DNFY12SA?px=22831798&pg=personal&fr_id=47548

Aim For Fat Cells

I'm on day 4 of my trip.  It's been a great trip in that my other flight attendant has the same sense of humor that I do... we've been laughing the whole time, which makes everything easier in my job.  The only thing I wish was different was more down time... I was able to get in a quick 3 mile run the other morning on a treadmill (boo hiss ugh!)... today was the first day I had enough time to hit the streets...

Our hotel in downtown Birmingham is great.  I asked one of the doormen which way I should run for good views, old buildings, etc... "Oh just go up this street and turn left on Highland"...  I didn't really think about the two clues he gave me as he said that statement... UP and HIGHland...  VERY hilly.  Two hours later, my butt is already feeling the pain... but it was a gorgeous 5 mile run and I know the running and the hills will continue the downward trend my scale has shown... my pants are looser.  I've kept 5 pounds off since I started my training and eating right again...

I ran through Little Five Points South... the first street car neighborhood in Birmingham... then turned left onto Highland as instructed...  Love love LOVE the architecture... ran by two dream homes...  One was being remodeled, the other, the Bradshaw House, circa 1892.  The green bronze roof and stained glass windows... turrets... I had to wipe off my drool as it was interfering with my sweat.

Further up the hill I came upon Caldwell Park.  I ran into the park and around the loop a few times, stopping to jog in front of the sign for the Little Theater...  http://www.virginiasamfordtheatre.org/history.html

All the old buildings and big weeping ancient oak trees made me long for an older home in an established neighborhood.  One day, I will get a home like this, near the water that I miss desperately.  When my children are out of the house, I will find this somewhere... just have to decide the where... or maybe... on a run someday the where will be discovered by accident as I run by a house for sale that screams my name and calls me home...

This is going to be a long week for me as I am working like a mad woman to have time off to take my daughter to be spoiled by my mother in California for her birthday... By the time I get to my mothers house, I'm sure I'll only have enough energy to whisper one word... "Cosmo" as I fall onto her couch... My stepfather will immediately revive me with that magic password, by handing me his magic elixir... I'll have a week at "home" with my kids and parents... near water... and will be rejuvenated like nothing else can...

The other day I walked my sweetheart to his plane that was taking him to his overnight. Four hours later he snuck up behind and grabbed me. After listening to the story about why he was there, I gave him a big hug and kiss and sent him off so I could go back to work. The moment he walked away I started shivering uncontrollably and it took four hours for me to calm down.  I had time to think of how close I came to one of my biggest fears... losing him.  I've never had that sort of physical reaction to the POTENTIAL of a loss.  I now understand my stepfathers face everytime my mother's body decides it wants a hospital break.  The utter terror, even after you hear they are going to be ok... Dear God, I know my blessings. You don't have to scare me to have me hold tight to what I have.

Stock up Prof... I'm going to need alot reviving... :)

Aim for Disease

June 2011 - "The most common denominator for Westmoor track is DiMaggio, who not only loves the sport but loves teaching the kids. He knows most won’t be going on to participate in track once they graduate high school, but he instills in them a work ethic and desire to be the best — lessons that go beyond sports."

As I was running this evening I was thinking about the past 30 years... From the moment I stepped onto a track and decided to be part of a team... knowing I wasn't good enough to win, but wanting to be part of something bigger...

At 15, two things drove me to that field...  1)  a cute unattainable guy I just wanted to watch and dream over, and 2)  I had spent the previous six months trying to drink myself out of the memory of being raped... I chose one day to LIVE instead, and living meant putting my big girl panties on and getting over it....

First, I just wanted to help out the coaches with set up... then I was talked into trying the high hurdles... when my former boyfriend (not the rapist) became hurdles assistant coach I choked and backed out...  so what do you do with a slow runner who will keep running with a smile on her face?  You put her on mile/2 mile and cross country... and patiently wait for her to finish every race..  I was one of those people that the cones are picked up behind, everyone else gone or ready to go... My sweatshirt had "Pokey" on the back...  But I went to the practices and the team events and enjoyed every moment of them.

I have memories of those days... Driving back from one race from the other side of the bay in Coach DiMaggio's old classic car...  Another memory... it actually was a flash towards the future of what I could and WOULD achieve... was a cross country race in Antioch... One of the hottest places in the East Bay to run... I have always started a race... found my pace and kept it throughout... this day I kept it... up and down hills.... and I found myself in a mysterious position... I was catching up to people from the other teams... I'd tell them to run with me til they caught their breath... That they didn't want to be beaten by a gal with a "Pokey" jersey...  most would and then sprint off a mile later... But what ended up being truly memorable... Was the last half mile of this race... I saw people ahead of me... barely running... and for once in my high school running career I thought "I can BEAT them"... so I threw everything I had left in me and kicked it to the finish line... I remember seeing Coach DiMaggio's face as he realized that I was actually competing instead of just jogging for fun... and he started screaming like I was coming in for FIRST place... Being cheered in was a novelty for me... and I beat a few people who just didn't have it in them to catch me with that kick...  I nearly died on the other side of the finish line but the coach's encouragement was so bloody HUGE!

Coach DiMaggio... this little engine that could has been running for 30 years now.  It IS my fitness of choice.  It is still what I go to when I have issues I'm dealing with in my day to day life... I run, I think about what's going on, and I work through trials and tribulations in a healthy manner....

While I was still living in the Bay Area, I ran Wharf to Wharf every year.  I can tell you, I STILL have my pace that I'm happy with... I run a 10-11 minute mile in races... I STILL kick it to the finish line... and I remember that moment and smile... I don't finish in the end anymore though Coach... At 45 I finish in the top 27% of women my age and top 1/3 of ALL women - that's me in the black on July 4th here in Atlanta - the Peachtree Road Race (10k)... Everyone is slowing down and I'm still Pokey finishing the race... I figure by the time I'm 82... I may win one... :)

Today I did a 4.5 mile run along the country roads I live on... I thought about my high school running times... How I still breathe like Laura Ellis taught me to...  Those years DID make me the runner I am today and I'm grateful... Today I'm training for a half marathon for the American Cancer Society in Savannah, November 3rd... Hoping to raise $3000 for the cause, while checking off a 'to do' on my list for life... When I get to the end of that race.... I promise I will kick it as always and be grateful for the lessons learned, my health, and my support system along the way...


Until there's a cure...
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/DetermiNation/DNFY12SA?px=22831798&pg=personal&fr_id=47548

Aim For Fat Cells

I have just had a couple of amazing days.  I'm feeling so blessed... and also a bit bereft...

My babies returned from CA late the 2nd... we watched movies far into the night and spent a lazy 3rd together...  Kids can drive you crazy and push all your buttons, but when you are away from them, you miss the lil buggers...

In preparation for the annual 4th of July Peachtree Road Race, I went down to the city early on the 3rd... I have thanked my boo over and over again for choosing an apartment that is SOOOO convenient for me...  One of my close friends came to run the race with me and joined me at his place that night...  We had a girl gab fest over pizza and wine and boo surprised me by showing up... I didn't think he would make it... so now I'm grinning like an idiot... happy to have a girls night and end it with my favorite pillow.

Cherie and I got up at the ungodly hour of 5:30 to get to the race... While it only takes 15 minutes via Marta from boo's apartment, we had to plan to fight 60,000 people getting there... All in all it went smoothly... we had time to wander and check out the lay of the land, run into friends and gab, and enjoy the pre-race activities.... and the weather was perfect in the high 70's with a slight breeze...

I've run races in CA many times, this was my first GA race... I had read that they start the race in waves and knew my start time was going to be 1:07 after the first runner's start time.  I wasn't sure I was going to dig that much... especially because it was easily 6-10' warmer in that hour... but after running the race I get it and appreciate it... by breaking up 60k people into smaller, manageable waves, it's less crowded on the course... you still have to run around everyone that's walking or kinda jogging, and that kills your race pace... but it was easier to run around the people I needed to because there were less people... So BRAVO to the people who handle this part of the race.

Crossing over the finish 68 minutes later, I ran the slowest 10k I've ever run... granted I always run in Santa Cruz where it starts at 60' and ends high 70's... but I hung onto the 10-11 (10.96) minute mile pace I wanted to do and came in 841 of 3089 in my age group for women... :) Yeah baby that's the top 27% of my age group... BRING IT!  I'm never going to be the fastest in the group.. I'm the little engine that could... but I never stop to walk in a race and at nearly 46 I can totally be proud of this achievement.

While running the race I was grinning and feeling this pride and happiness to be healthy and alive... at times it would overwhelm me and I'd start to get teary... I am such a sappy idiot...  I started to giggle and wonder how the half marathon I am running in 6 months will affect me if this 10k has me this way... especially since the half marathon is for a cause... I've raised $880 so far and I have 6 months to go...   You can add to my fundraising for the American Cancer Society by copying and pasting the following link...  Thank you for your support!

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/DetermiNation/DNFY12SA?px=22831798&pg=personal&fr_id=47548

Back to this week...  the end of the race is always so exhilarating.  I kick the last .2 of a mile every time... I'm like a horse to the barn... and fly through the pack like superman...  It always amazes me the people that STOP that last .2 of a mile... Really?  Do you not SEE the end?  Get it OVER and run... :)

My PERFECT boo met Cherie and I with Screwdrivers... not the tool kind... and we wandered the post race booths... Publix... I love you!  They had tables full of bananas, cookies, bagels, nutrition bars, and last but not least, the most AMAZING peaches I've had in a long time.  Cherie and I were moaning eating them, juice dripping down our chins, and people around us were like "we've got to get some of those"...  We just looked at them, continued to moan and shake our heads yes...

Doing a race makes you appreciate things... Like crossing over the finish line and your achievement... that shower that you take that washes the smell of the race off of you...  and the meal you eat a while later... Every bite of food is glorious because you're so bloody hungry you can eat a horse...  The three of us went to the 'Nook' by Piedmont Park, ate outside and enjoyed the weather... Later on, my bff Alex, came down to join us... and the four of us went to dinner at the Steamhouse Lounge... again, outside and loving the weather and the company...  I was reveling in it all... surrounded by people I adore...  and feeling good about life...

We ended our night sitting on my sweetheart's balcony and watching all the fireworks around Atlanta.  What a day!  Thank you, all of you for your part in it... I couldn't have asked for a better day.

Today, I'm back home, waiting for my sleeping tweener babies to come back here... and I'm thinking having someone in your life that you miss before they walk away is a blessing and a curse... Wonderful to love someone that much... but when you have to be apart from them for a week or two it downright sucks... Kinda like giving up your right arm for that time... You don't know what to do without it.

I'm looking forward to my right arm, my heart of hearts to return... but I'm so glad he gets to spend time with his family and me with mine... 

As always, I walk through my garden, and think of him... New flowers are blooming on my Rose of Sharon, and Texas Hibiscus...  I snap pictures to share with him... because I know they will make him smile... 

My garden reminds me to embrace the beauty of the moment... and now... I finally, got the text from my kids... they're awake and on their way... Life was great yesterday, it will be so today, and I know it will continue to be... I'm blessed with friends, family and a man who love me... I live in a country that provides me the freedom to chase happiness, and I'm grateful to those who fight to keep it that way... Thank you.

Aim For Cancer!

As I said in my last blog I signed up for DetermiNation- Team Atlanta for the Savannah, GA, half marathon.  I'll be fundraising a minimum of $1700 but hope to raise $3000.

It's been an active week for me.  I'm gearing up from running my standard 3-4 mile runs daily to be able to run 13.1 miles easily.

I ran on two of my overnights... In Evansville, IN, and Springfield, MO...

How's this for a surreal life... In 24 hours I went from this...  My 'office' on Wednesday, seen here arriving in Atlanta...

To this... the perfect antidote to spending 4 days racing across the US in a small metal tube....


Thursday we got up and cross trained by kayaking for 4 hours down the Chattahoochee.  OMG gorgeous day!  Muskrat, deer, baby ducks, and more animals were all over if you just stopped for a second and looked.  My sweetheart and I took our time and just enjoyed the peace on this river that made you think you were outside the city.  Now he's on a 'lets get kayaks' kick lol... I'd do it!  That's a great upper body workout.

We walked through the park prior to kayaking, killing time waiting for the kayak company to show... We found this passion flower vine... totally doesn't look like a real flower... I am soooo going to get seeds for my garden!!!  

Friday we took a break and wandered northern GA together.  Came home and cooked fish and veggies on the barbeque...  I have this cool new pan that works wonders on my grill... :)

Saturday was the first DetermiNation team training event...  A quick 3 miles through Piedmont Park... It was incredibly cool to see how many people are turning out to commit to this fundraiser.  Each one of these people will raise a minimum of $1700.  That's money to help people stay well from cancer through prevention and early detection, get well from cancer with free programs and support, find cancer's causes and cures through groundbreaking research, and fight back to end this disease.  I'm looking at all these people and holding back tears.

One of my coworkers is doing the event... Which is also cool... We can help support and motivate each other...

We ran yesterday before the temperatures in Atlanta reached a record breaking 106'.  This morning I told myself I needed to run this morning before it got ungodly hot.  Ran 4.5 miles at 9 and nearly killed myself.    Mental note to self:  must run at 6am for rest of summer.  By the time I was done with my run it was already 93'.  Ugh.  The only thing not wilting around me are my stargazer lilies... beautiful little troopers!

Tomorrow I get to pick up my race bib for Peachtree Road Race in Atlanta... On the 4th I'm doing a 10k... my first race in Atlanta since I've been here... I used to do them in CA all the time.  I'm motivated this year... Bring them ALL on.

I've cooled down enough that I think I can take a cold shower and not make the water turn into steam....

If you want to donate to my DetermiNation fundraiser... copy and paste this link... it should bring you to my personal page.

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/DetermiNation/DNFY12SA?px=22831798&pg=personal&fr_id=47548

Until there's a cure!